Connected

At Kacie’s 38th week of pregnancy, doctors could not find the baby’s heartbeat. Sadly, she and her husband TJ discovered that their full-term baby boy had passed away.
With their permission, they have allowed me to share their son with you.

Their short hello and good-bye was very exceptional for them: Meeting the son they will always have but feel like they will never know.

I’m not going to sugar-coat the circumstances by stringing together phrases like “angel” or “better place”. This is an intense loss. When we go to a funeral we are never celebrating someone’s death… we celebrate their life. Nino was robbed of this opportunity.

Death is wrong. I realized this now more than ever before. We can remind ourselves that for some people it is the end of suffering or that they are in a better place, but death itself is wrong. We are not meant to die. The affliction, heartbreak, and pain that are on this earth are all wrong. We were never supposed to experience this and God never wanted this for us either.

While it is hard to see God’s association in this circumstance, it is there.
I am overwhelmed by TJ and Kacie’s strength and their trust in God: Their steadfast relationship with Him during this time. Seeing them truthfully turn to God for their comfort.

Nino’s name means “Grace of God”.
It is by the grace of God that healing will occur for this family. It is by God’s grace that we can be in communion with Him. It is through God’s grace that we can one day be with loved ones that we’ve lost.

Nino’s forever presence in my life has reminded me of this fact.

TJ and Kacie have the honor to have known Nino on an intimate level. A level we did not get the privilege of knowing. A friend shared this poem with Kacie and I wanted to pass it along:

“The Cord”


We are connected,
…My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.


It’s not like the cord
That connects us ’til birth
This cord can’t been seen
By any on Earth.


This cord does it’s work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.


I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.


The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.


It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.


And though you are gone,
Though you’re not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.


It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.


I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can’t take it away!

Thank you, God, for the beautiful connections you give us. Your love for us is expressed in joy as well as sorrow.